Hairspray: Glee Style
by Softballer21
Summary: Kurt Hummel has dreams of singing on the Directions Show. Now that he is, Kurt becomes the biggest star in Baltimore. He has a long way to go for stardom along with his best friend, Rachel and the hunky heartthrob, Blaine Anderson. But not if Blaine's boyfriend, Sebastian has anything to do with it.
1. Chapter 1

Kurt woke up and started singing.  
_Oh, oh, oh  
Woke up today  
Feeling the way i always do  
Oh, oh, oh  
Hungry for something  
That i can't eat  
Then i hear that beat  
The rhythm of town  
Starts calling me down  
It's like a message from  
High above  
Oh, oh, oh  
Pulling me out  
To the smiles and the  
Streets that i love  
Good morning Baltimore  
Every day's like an open door  
Every night is a fantasy  
Every sound's like a symphony_

_Good morning Baltimore  
And some day when i take to the floor  
The world's gonna wake up and see  
Baltimore and me  
Oh, oh, oh  
Look at my hair  
What "do" can compare with mine today?  
Oh, oh, oh,  
I've got my hairspray and radio  
I'm ready to go_

_The rats on the street_  
_All dance round my feet  
They seem to say  
"Kurt, it's up to you"  
So, oh, oh  
Don't hold me back  
'Cause today all my dreams will come true_

_Good morning Baltimore  
There's the flasher who lives next door  
There's the bum on his bar room stool  
They wish me luck on my way to school_

_Good morning Baltimore  
And some day when i take to the floor  
The world's gonna wake up and see  
Baltimore and me_

_I know every step  
I know every song  
I know there's a place where i belong  
I see all those party lights shining ahead  
So someone invite me  
Before i drop dead!  
So, Oh, Oh  
Give me a chance  
'Cause when i start to dance i'm a movie star  
Oh, oh, oh  
Something inside of me makes me move  
When i hear the groove  
My dad tells me no  
But my feet tell me go!  
It's like a drummer inside my heart  
Oh, oh, oh  
Don't make me wait  
One more moment for my life to start...  
I love you Baltimore  
Every day's like an open door  
Every night is a fantasy  
Every sound's like a symphony_

_And i promise Baltimore  
That some day when  
I take to the floor  
The world's gonna wake up and see  
Gonna wake up and see  
Baltimore and me..._

_ENSEMBLE  
Yes, More Or Less We All Agree_

_Kurt  
Baltimore and me..._

_ENSEMBLE  
Someday the world  
Is gonna see_

_Kurt  
Baltimore and me!_

At the school, the bell rang and Kurt hurried off to class. In Ms. Whimsy' class, Kurt sat there staring at the clock waiting for school to end.

"Mount Everest is the most famous, but not the highest geographical point on this earth," said Ms. Whimsy.

"Ms. Whimsy, I can't see the board," said Ethan who was sitting behind Kurt.

"Mr. Hummel," she sighed.

Kurt turned his attention back to Ms. Whimsy. "Uhh…ma'am?"

"Do I have to write you up for innaporiate hair height?"

"Ms. Whimsy, what am I supposed to do? You can't let hair hang like a dead thing on your cheeks." The class giggled a bit. "Uhh…you know what I mean. I…" Kurt stuck his pen in his mouth and Ms. Whimsy continues the lesson.

As school goes by, Kurt continues to stare at the clock. Finally, school ends. Kurt hurried out of class towards his locker.

"Kurt, the Directions Show will be on any minute," said Rachel Berry, his best friend.

"Let's go, Rachel," he said as he slammed his locker door. Kurt grabbed Rachel's arm and ran toward the bus.

They hopped on and waited to get to Kurt's house. Once the bus stopped at Kurt's house, the both of them immediately hurried into Kurt's house.

Both of them threw their backpacks on the couch and turned on the tv.

"Don't change that channel 'cause it's time for the Directions Show," said the tv announcer. "With your host…Will Schuester!"

_Ev'ry afternoon  
When the clock strikes four  
(Bop-bee-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, bee-ba)_

_A crazy bunch of kids  
Crash through that door  
(Bop-bee-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, bee-ba)_

_They throw off their coats  
And leave the squares behind  
And then they shake it, shake it, shake it  
Like they're losing their mind  
You'll never see them frown  
'Cause they're the nicest kids in town_

_Every afternoon  
You turn your T.V. on  
(Na, na, na, na, na, na-na-na-na)_

_And we know you turn the sound up  
When your parents are gone, yeah  
(Na, na, na, na, na, na-na-na-na)_

_And then you twist and shout  
For your favorite star  
And once you've practiced every step  
That's in your repertoire  
You better come on down  
And meet the nicest kids in town_

_Nice white kids  
Who like to lead the way  
And once a month  
We have our "negro day!"  
And I'm the man who keeps it spinnin' round  
Mr. Will Schuester  
With the latest, greatest Baltimore sound!_

_So every afternoon  
Drop everything  
(Bop-bee-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, bee-ba)_

_Who needs to read and write  
When you can dance and sing?  
(Bop-bee-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, bee-ba)_

_Forget about your algebra  
And calculus  
You can always do your homework  
On the morning bus  
Can't tell a verb from a noun  
They're the nicest kids in town  
Roll Call!_

_I'm Sebastian…Quinn…Artie, Tina, Puck, Rory, Sugar, Sam, Mike, Joe, Jake, Unqiue, Marley, Santana, Brittany…and I'm…Blaine._

Rachel and Kurt screamed to the top of their lungs once they saw Blaine.

_So, if every night you're shaking  
As you lie in bed  
(Mony-mony, ooh, mony-mony)_

_And the bass and drums  
Are pounding in your head  
(Mony-mony, ooh, mony-mony)  
Who cares about sleep  
When you can snooze in  
School?_

_They'll never get to college  
But they sure look cool  
Don't need a cap and a gown  
'Cause they're the nicest  
Kids in town_

_They're the nicest. Nicest  
They're the nicest, nicest  
They're the sugar 'n' spicest,  
The nicest kids in...  
Kids in town!_

* * *

Kurt Hummel as Tracy Turnblad  
Rachel Berry as Penny Pinkleton  
Will Schuester as Corny Collins  
Blaine Anderson as Link Larkin  
Finn Hudson as Seaweed  
Sebastian as Amber Von Tussle  
Sue Sylvester as Velma Von Tussle  
Burt Hummel as Edna Turnblad  
Mercedes Jones as Motormouth Maybelle


	2. Chapter 2

"Give them a hand, folks," said Will. "We're gonna take a break! And we'll be back for our next performance."

Once the cameras stopped, Sue said aloud, "And we're off. Hey, Schuester! Is this show about you or the back crap music you play?"

"Sue, the kids dig this kinda stuff," he answered.

"They're kids, Schue. You need to make sure that they're in the right direction."

Sue passes by her son, Sebastian and blows him a kiss. Sebastian walks over to his boyfriend, Blaine.

"Hey, baby," he said to Blaine as he gave him a kiss. "We are so gonna win the Final Sing-Off Competition. I already made a list of songs we should sing."

"Sebastian, it's a one person contest," Blaine reminded him.

"I know. I just wish that we're not going up against each other. I want you to win."

"I want you to win more."

"Sebastian?" Sue interrupted. "Stop kissing your lil' boy toy in front of everybody. It makes us all uncomfortable."

"How come Santana and Brittany get to make out in front of everyone, Mom?" He asked.

"They're girls. People think it's hot. You're men. People think it's queer."

Kurt and Rachel stood in front of the tv. Burt walks in and moans, "Turn that crap down!"

"Dad, it's music to our ears," Kurt explained.

"And it's mutiny to my ears."

"Kurt, what will it take to be on that show?" asked Rachel.

"I don't know. All of them auditioned."

"You so deserve to be on that show."

"They don't want any more gay kids on that show."

"What about—"

The show returned. "And we're back! Today is our performance of It Takes Two by our one and only…Blaine Anderson!"

"Thanks y'all," he said in the microphone. "This song is dedicated to my favorite guy out there. Sebastian, this is for you."

"I wish he dedicate it to me," said Kurt. "I love him so much."

"Why don't you talk to him in school? You have him in English."

"I can't. He's like the Elvis of that show. Plus, he's with Sebastian."

"Sebastian can't even sing. He's only on that show because of his mother."

_They say it's a man's world  
Well, that cannot be denied  
But what bad's a man's world  
Without a woman by your side  
And so i will wait  
Until that moment you decide_

BLAINE & GUYS  
_That i'm your man  
And you're also my man  
That i'm the sea  
And you're the pearl  
It takes two, baby,  
It takes two  
Doo doo - wop!_

BLAINE  
_A king ain't a king  
Without the pow'r behind the throne  
A prince is a pauper. Babe,  
Without a guy to call his own  
So please, darling, choose me  
I don't wanna rule alone  
Tell me,_

BLAINE & GUYS  
_I'm your king  
And you're also my king  
That no one else  
Can come between  
It takes two, baby,  
It takes two_

GUYS  
_Don't you know_

_Lancelot had guinevere  
Mrs. Claus has old st. Nick  
Romeo had juliet  
And liz, well, she has her dick_

_They say it takes two to tango  
Well, that tango's child's play  
So take me to the dance floor  
And we'll twist the night away_

_Just like frankie avalon  
Had his favorite mouseketeer  
I dream of a lover, babe,  
To say the things 1 long to hear  
So come closer baby,  
Oh and whisper in my ear_

Kurt (in anything but a whisper)  
_Yeah!_

BLAINE  
_That you're my guy  
And i'm your boy  
That you're my pride  
And i'm your joy  
That i'm the sand  
And you're the tide  
We're both the grooms  
And there'll be no bride  
It takes two, baby,  
It takes two_

KURT (& GUYS)  
_I'm your guy (you're my guy)  
You're my boy (i'm your boy)  
You're my pride  
I'm your joy  
I'm the sand  
You're the tide  
Let us be the grooms  
Cause there'll be no bride_

_It takes two...  
It takes two..._

_It takes two, baby_

Once Blaine was finish, everybody applauded.

"I want him so bad," complained Kurt.

"And that was our very own Blaine Anderson," said Will. "Now we have some sad news. Our fellow darling, Quinn will be off the show for awhile. Quinn, how long will you be gone?"

"Just nine months," she nervously answered.

Rachel and I looked at each other and looked back at the tv.

"So, listen, boys and girls. If you got a voice, then cut school tomorrow and come audition for a spot on the Will Schuester Show."

"Oh, my god!" I gasped. "Rachel, I can audition for that spot!"

"You so can, Kurt! You're a better singer than the rest of them."

Once Rachel went back home with father, Kurt goes up to his father watching TV.

"Dad, I have great news," said Kurt.

"Kid, all you do is watch the Will Schuester Show and you have news?" He asked.

"I'm gonna audition for the show."

"No, no, no."

"Why not?"

"Kurt, you are not singing on that show."

"It's my dream, Dad. I've been wanting to be on that show since I was fourteen."

"Fame isn't for you. One day you're gonna own my auto shop."

"I don't want that. I wanna be famous!"

Burt sighed. "Kurt, you wanna know why I'm being hard? You're different in a good way."

"What do you mean? Is it because I'm gay?"

"Maybe."

"There's gay people on that show too, Dad."

"You've been bullied all your life  
getting thrown in the dumpster and getting shoved against your locker."

"It won't be like that!"

"Yes, it will!"

"Why can't you let me live my dream? I wanna show people that I got talent but that I'm not perfect. All those kids are but not me."

"Okay, son. You wanna audition then you can. Don't do anything crazy."

"Yes! I won't. I promise."

"This is America. You gotta think big to be big."


	3. Chapter 3

Sue  
_Front step, cha-cha-cha, back step cha-cha-cha, side step, front step, back, and turn._

Kurt  
_Oh my god, Rachel, there's Blaine, Blaine! I can't believe i'm really here auditioning!_

Rachel  
_I can't believe i'm really here watching you audition!_

Sue  
_Front step, cha-cha-cha, back step cha-cha-cha, side step, front step, back, and, oh, Sebastian, look at this motly crew! Oh  
This town has sure gone downhill since i was crowned miss..._

Sebastian  
_Oh, mother not more ancient history!_

Sue  
_Oh, my god how times have changed, these kids must be blind, or completely deranged!  
But, time seem to halt when i was miss baltimore crabs.  
Sebastian, that move is far too dirty!_

Sebastian  
_Mother, wake up from that dream of yours, this isn't 1930!_

Sue  
_You can laugh, but life's a test!  
Don't do this, don't do that!  
Remember, mother knows best!  
And the crowns in the vault from  
When i won miss baltimore crabs_

Sebastian  
_These steps are perfect ammunition._

Sue  
_Let me show you how you mommy dear  
Took out the competition.  
Girls, go get them, boys lets rumba!  
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,  
Those poor runner ups  
Might still hold some grudges  
They padded their cups  
But i screwed the judges! Those broads thought they'd win if a plate they would spin in their dance..hahaha..not a chance  
Boys, put me down!  
Oh, good morning kids, lets see what you got!_

Council members  
_Twist, twist, twist, twist, mashed potato, mambo!_

Sue  
_Ready, begin  
On my show you'll never find a thrusting hip or bump and grind!_

Sebastian  
_Whats that, a dance for flees and tics?_

Sue  
_Oh, you should have seen my bag of tricks!  
Oh i hit the stage  
Batons ablaze  
While belting aida  
And preparing souflees!  
But that triple somersault  
Is how i clinched miss baltimore crabs!_

_Dance break!_

Sue  
_Proceed._

Santana  
_Are you scared we're on live?_

Kurt  
_No, i'm sure i can cope._

Sebastian  
_Well, this show isn't broadcast in_

Council girls  
_Cinema scope!_

Sue  
_I never drink one chocolate malt  
No desserts for miss baltimore crabs!_

Sebastian  
_This one will never get a date in those hand-me-down clothes!_

Velma  
_Ha kid, she'll never get a date  
Till daddy buys her a new nose!  
I would say  
Oy gevalt!  
If i wasn't miss baltimore crabs_

Sebastian  
_Do you dance like you dress?_

Blaine  
_Sebastian, there's no need to be cruel_

Sue  
_Would you swim in an integrated pool?_

Kurt  
_I sure would! I'm all for integration! It's the new frontier_!

Sue  
_Not in baltimore, it isn't!  
And may i be frank  
First impressions can be tough  
And when i saw you i knew it  
If your character weren't enough  
Your last answer just blew it!  
And so my dear  
So short and stout  
You'll never be in  
So were kicking you out!  
With your form and your fate  
Oh, it isn't your fault!  
Just down with a case of  
Miss baltimore crabs  
Ergh you may go_

Kurt  
_Ummm...thank you_

Rachel  
_I think they secretly liked you!_

Random Girl  
_May i please audition?_

Sue  
_Of course not  
But you can bow and exalt  
Cuz i am miss baltimore crabs!_

_Council girls  
Crabs, crabs, crabs_

Kurt and Rachel hurried back to school. Once Kurt sat down in his seat, Ms. Whimsy was still staring at the board.

"Trying to cut class today, Mr. Hummel," said Ms. Whimsy. "I hope it was for something very important."

"It should've been," he muttered.

Ms. Whimsy quickly wrote on a pink slip and held it up. Kurt got out of his desk and took the pink slip.

He dragged his feet toward detention like a zombie. Being rejected was killing him. Kurt knew he was able to do it, but he had no confidence anymore.

Music was coming from the detention room. Kurt opened the door and was surprised by it.

A bunch of students were dancing around and singing. There was no teacher in sight. Kurt placed his books on a desk next to a sleeping. He began nodding his head to the rhythm of the music.

"What you looking at?" A guy asked him.

Kurt nervously answered, "Nothing. Nothing at all."

Something at the corner of his eye caught his attention. A tall, built guy was drumming to the beat.

"Hey, how's this sound?" He asked Kurt as he demonstrated a drum solo.

"It sounds pretty cool," Kurt answered. "Don't you prefer any beat boxers or…sound effects?"

"Why? That's not music."

"It's not?"

"No, young buck. Music comes from voice and instruments. Not computer crap. I don't even get why that's popular."

"You look familiar. Don't I know you from somewhere?"

"Have you seen me on the Will Schuester Show? I'm on Rock of Ages Day."

"Yes! Now I know where I've seen you. You're the guy who does the drums."

"The name's Finn Hudson."

"I'm Kurt Hummel."

"Nice to meet you, Kurt Hummel."

"I don't understand why you're not an original on the show."

"Dude, they don't want me or the rest of us. They prefer dancing singers. Why do you think they only put us on once a month? Nobody likes our music."

"Well show me what y'all got."

Some girl started by playing her violin along with a guy whistle. After that came a girl singing and a guy playing a sitar. Soon after, it was all combined with each other.

"See, Kurt?" said Finn. "This is music!"

Finn started dancing to the beat dragging Kurt onto the dance floor. Kurt finally got the hang of it and danced to the wonderful music.

Suddenly, somebody tapped on his shoulder. Kurt turned around to find Blaine Anderson in front of him. He then froze in place staring at his crush.

"Hi, I'm Blaine," he introduced himself. "And you are?"

Kurt's heart was beating out I his chest. "I'm…Kurt," he choked.

"I saw you at the auditions this morning. I'm sorry about Sue. She can be hard on everybody. But if Will saw you doing your thing, he would want you on the show."

The bell rang. Blaine tried to pass by Kurt, but he accidentally bumped into him.

"Oh, sorry, darlin'." said Blaine. He walked out of the room. Kurt walked out too staring at Blaine as he left.

KURT  
_I can hear the bells, well don't you hear 'em chime? Can't you feel my heart-beat keeping perfect time? And all because he..._

_Touched me,  
He looked at me and stared yes he..._

_Bumped me,  
My heart was unprepared when he..._

_Tapped me,  
And knocked me off my feet, one little touch now my life's complete 'cause when he..._

_Nudged me,  
Love put me in a fix yes it..._

_Hit me,  
Just like a tonne of bricks, yes my heart burst now I know what life's about, one little touch and love's knocked me out  
and..._

_KURT & ENSOMBLE_

_I can hear the bells,  
My head is spinning.  
I can hear the bells,  
Something's beginning.  
Everybody says that a guy who looks like me can't win his love well just wait and see 'cause..._

_I can hear the bells,  
Just hear them chiming,  
I can hear the bells,  
My temperature's climbing,  
I can't contain my joy 'cause I've finally found the boy I've been missin'  
LISTEN!  
I can hear the bells._

_Round 1,  
He'll ask me on a date, and then..._

_Round 2,  
I'll primp but won't be late, because_

_Round 3's  
When we kiss inside his car!  
Won't go all the way but I'll go pretty fa-ar_

_Round 4,  
He'll ask me for my hand, and then..._

_Round 5,  
We'll book the wedding band, so by..._

_Round 6,  
Sebastian, much to your suprise, this heavy-weight champion takes the prize and_

_KURT & ENSOMBLE_

_I can hear the bells,  
My ears are ringing,  
I can hear the bells,  
All the guests are singing,  
Everybody says that a guy who's such a gem, won't look my way well the laughs on them 'cause  
I can hear the bells,  
My father will smile,  
I can hear the bells,  
As he walks me down the isle,  
Then Dad starts to cry but I can't see 'cause Blaine and I are french kissin'_

_LISTEN!  
I can hear the bells._

_*Key Change*_

_KURT & ENSOMBLE_

_I can hear the bells,  
My head is reeling,  
I can hear the bells,  
I can't stop the peeling,  
Everybody warns that he won't like what he'll see but I know that he'll look inside of me yeah..._

_I can hear the bells,  
Today's just the start 'cause,  
I can hear the bells and,  
Till death do us part and,  
Even when we die we'll look down from up above remembering the night that we two fell in love, We both will shed a tear and  
he'll whisper as we're remanisn'_

_LISTEN!_

_I can hear the bells,  
I can hear the bells,  
I can hear the bells._


End file.
